tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634884728412055261.post3052775560473381546..comments2023-09-16T09:36:55.193-04:00Comments on Fallopian Groove (is a terrible name for a blog): work it girl, 12 weeks, 6 daysSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17685641936657833904noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634884728412055261.post-62488894996967609812013-06-14T21:53:56.322-04:002013-06-14T21:53:56.322-04:00I posted a useless, not-so-focused post about this...I posted a useless, not-so-focused post about this myself. It's freaking annoying because there is really no right answer to this. It is so hard that it is a "choice" we have to make, but no one ever asks the men. And whatever you choose, you wonder. I also am a career person and don't know who I would be if I weren't a psychologist. But lately, I've been feeling like, if it weren't for the fact that I bring in the health insurance for the family, I'd be ready to be a stay at home mom. Ha. I wonder how long that fleeting feeling will last. I guess what I'm saying is that it sucks and it's not easy. Hopefully we can figure out how to have our cake and eat it too. Yeah right.JustMehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02493032821722724778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634884728412055261.post-72662178791622191912013-06-14T09:43:15.253-04:002013-06-14T09:43:15.253-04:00I've been married for three years and my husba...I've been married for three years and my husband and I still have separate accounts and still pay each other back for CRAZY small amounts -- like even a $10 lunch. Something about the joint account bugged me, but we had to set one up after we got married and people wrote cheques addressed to the both of us (Mr. and Mrs. HIS LAST NAME -- not considering that I might keep my own). Anyway, we never use it. But I do feel kinda weird about being so separate with money... and I'm basically going to be relying solely on my husband to finance my spending needs during mat leave.<br /><br />How long will you get, then, once baby is here? In Canada, you automatically get a full year, but I know in the U.S. it can be as little as a couple of weeks (INSANE!). In any case, I was raised by two parents who not only worked full time but often worked well into the night, and yes I had a slew of nannies, and I turned out just fine. I never felt like my parents didn't love me or anything, and weekends were always sacred family time, so there was plenty of bonding to be had. And I was proud of them, too -- being able to say, in class, that my mom was a doctor felt awesome!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634884728412055261.post-61212406595088948512013-06-13T21:16:25.677-04:002013-06-13T21:16:25.677-04:00Congratulations on reaching 2nd trimester! And you...Congratulations on reaching 2nd trimester! And you are a very responsible mom to think about "work life balance" before hand. You will make it work, and if it doesn't work, you can try something else.<br /><br />Have to echo the other girls that 12 weeks mat leave seems like nothing at all, and not at all fair. You should have more. It is what it is I guess.<br /><br />I don't feel like I can decide the work/stay at home thing until I have an actual baby. I don't have strong philosophical leanings either way. To me it depends on the situation, the baby, me, us: a whole lot of variables that simply can't be added up until the situation is real. Although I cannot see myself with a baby or even a toddler and working in the same manner as I do now. But when it really happens...who knows.torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634884728412055261.post-76323256296082970962013-06-13T21:03:03.488-04:002013-06-13T21:03:03.488-04:002nd trimester! Can I get a woot woot? I think it&#...2nd trimester! Can I get a woot woot? I think it's great that you are thinking about this issue now, and seem to be sure about what you want. Recognize too that you can't really know how you'll feel once the babe is actually in your arms. It's so hard for us Canadian chiquitas to fathom the 12 week mat leave thing. So. Hard. 12 weeks? 12 measly weeks? I'm sorry, I doubt this is making you feel any better. Yet so many amazing working mamas make it work and everyone is absolutely fine, and you will make it work too, and it will be fine. I love my work, need my work, and have the best situation in that my husband wants to stay home, so I can't really complain. Can't complain at all. Yet I there is still the working mama guilt that is out there for all of us that fathers don't seem to feel to the same extent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634884728412055261.post-41049816134973243672013-06-13T15:34:54.901-04:002013-06-13T15:34:54.901-04:00Am I allowed to tell you that it all works out in ...Am I allowed to tell you that it all works out in the end? Because I firmly believe that it just... does. Don't worry about December yet. For all you know, Mrs. Doubtfire (or even Robin Williams in drag) will show up on your doorstep offering a reasonable rate and a nurturing environment for your little one. Either way, you'd be in great hands, right? <br /><br />All joking aside, do your research and you'll make the right childcare choice. I went to daycare and I turned out fine; in fact, I still keep in touch with some people who I met there. It's like a big giant playdate if you pick a good one. <br /><br />Happy trimester two! I'm soooo jelly!Deedahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02386061097583007160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634884728412055261.post-45269456791982532342013-06-13T10:55:28.668-04:002013-06-13T10:55:28.668-04:00Congrats on making it through the first trimester!...Congrats on making it through the first trimester! Things will get better from now on. Arielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11406223623869440728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3634884728412055261.post-64610839564761537362013-06-13T10:43:59.648-04:002013-06-13T10:43:59.648-04:00Oh, the age-old working Mom vs. stay at home Mom d...Oh, the age-old working Mom vs. stay at home Mom debate. Ultimately, we all need to make the choices that are right for us (and for our family). In Canada we get one year of Parental leave and (if I get pregnant) I definitely plan to go back to work after that. I know I am a happier person when I feel fulfilled, and I get that from the work I do. I'm sure a happier Mom is a good thing for the whole family.<br /><br />But man, isn't day care crazy expensive? And then all the hassle about where to send baby when he is sick and when the day care is closed for holidays etc. People always find a way to make it work though.<br /><br />Congrats on the new job and for following your dreams. Gypsy Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13026496787029080243noreply@blogger.com