Okay,
fine. This comes as no surprise. I mean just look at her. She is more fertile
just as she is more thin, more pretty, and way more married-to-a-royal-prince.
But whatever.
So,
when I got home from work the other night (I swear there’s a sensible
transition happening here), my dear, sweet husband said to me – in the calm,
nurturing, reassuring tone he probably only uses when speaking to elderly
Russian grandmothers who are one breath away from their last (you know, in his
job as a hit man doctor) – so
[putting his hand on my shoulder now like he’s prepared to break the news that they’re
cancelling the Bachelor our dog
died] you heard? And that was all he
had to say.
Now, I
should clarify something (because if one thing’s for sure, THIS needs to be
said). We don’t actually know, Kate
Middleton. Like, know, know. Or
Prince William for that matter. In fact, we have no relationship whatsoever to
the British royal family. It turns out, we often say things like Ohhh you want some mohrrrrr? in
affected, obnoxious British accents are just two, sloppy, unrefined Americans. We didn’t even
watch the royal wedding (audible gasps from the interwebs).
Anyway,
I swear I was making a point. Basically, C was afraid that I would royally
(see what I did there?) FLIP when I found out that yet another
basically-my-age-but-actually-older (the horror!) brunette was pregnant (did I
mention we look nothing alike almost exactly alike?).
