Wednesday, July 31, 2013

overachiever: measuring ahead, 19 weeks, 5 days


At my last prenatal visit, my OB slung a tape measure over my now protruding belly and pronounced me an overachiever ahead of schedule. Six days ahead, to be exact. During my full fetal scan on Friday, yet another OB – the on call OB who made a brief and memorable cameo appearance after the ultrasound tech was done regaling us with the bizarre-alien-freak-show that is a 3D ultrasound[1] – confirmed her diagnosis: our little heir to the throne[2] is measuring a walloping 6 days ahead of schedule[3].

Both OBs asked me whether I was a big baby – nope, a mighty average seven pounds – and then whether C was – again, rather average at seven pounds, seven ounces. The latter OB, not having endured my infertility rantings/clearly not having read anything in my chart, happily told me that it was probably just a miscalculation because due dates are always just estimates, because women ovulate at different times of the month, because –


(Turns out that was not the response she was looking for.)

With both OBs I had follow up questions – was the baby healthy? Should I be worried? Is there a reason I would be measuring nearly a week ahead? Had I gained too much weight? Should I be…ignoring their platitudes and running as fast as I can to the nearest computer, eager to be knee deep in the wisdom of Yahoo answers?

<readers on the edge of their seats>

Guess what guys? It was the last one! <breathless now from running> It was the last one!

Not having received a satisfying, substantive response – my OB: we don’t worry unless it’s more than a week ahead, your weight gain is normal, we’ll just continue to measure the baby’s growth; the guest-star-on-call-OB: Hmmmm *long pause, furrows brow* umm, I don’t know! (Said with far too much displaced enthusiasm) – I did what all infertiles (and let’s be honest, any pregnant woman worth her salt) do best: I turned to the all knowing interwebs for answers.

And boy did I get them. IN SPADES.

Far be it from me to question the deep insights of non-medically-licensed trolls and moms-to-be whiling their days away on internet forums. They had just the answers I was looking for. Here then, are my options:

1. Nothing is wrong. Babies grow at different rates. Sometimes smaller women measure ahead of schedule. Move right along and stop perseverating. Please watch these miniature donkeys play with a toddler.

2. You will be giving birth next week to an overweight adult hippopotamus. Proceed to the “husky” section of your nearest department store.

3. Polyhydramnios. Which, translated from the Greek, means: TERROR! Do not pass go, do not begin painting the nursery! too much amniotic fluid. The causes of which are all rainbows and butterflies – you know, stuff like chromosomal abnormalities, life threatening conditions which prevent your baby from swallowing amniotic fluid like he’s supposed to, infections like parovirus (“slapped cheek disease” – literally, I could not make this up if I tried) or toxoplasmosis (universe, I stopped gardening to avoid this, hello!).

4. More cascading horribles that will result in placental abruption, catastrophic pregnancy hemorrhaging and certain maternal and fetal death.

<Deep breath.>

So, what about you guys – anyone measuring ahead? Any collective wisdom to share?

And just because you made it all the way to the end of this rambling post chronicling my continuing worries, I finally took a picture of something I wore to work (dress: Pea in the Pod; maternity leggings: Pea in the Pod; flats: Madewell; cardigan: J.Crew circa 1998, seriously-why-do-i-still-own-this?). It might not have been one of my more inventive ensembles but you know me, I give the people what they want and you dear readers, wanted photos!

(I think I have a future taking selfies in the mirror. Also, I think you can see my dog's head in the background.)



[1] I guess I could devote an entire post to that 60 minute circus. But it feels more at home in a footnote. You guys, it was crazy. A full fetal scan is an hour long romp through the uterus-looking-glass. A chance for an ultrasound tech you just met to spend an inordinate amount of time rubbing warmed (seriously, why?) lube across your expanding gut. Despite our spawn looking like a lumpy headed alien baby – which I’m assured is totally normal – we saw some insane stuff: Ventricles! Fingers! Ribs! Two whole brain hemispheres! Pumping heart! Our terrifying/exhilarating/ohmygodisthisreallyhappening future as parents of a living, breathing, human child! Apparently our son “images beautifully” (Hollywood, we’re coming for you!). And this all before the REALLY FUN PART – a surprise afternoon wanding to measure the length of my cervix. After being assured that all the parts were there and in their correct places, we got a goodie bag of photos to take home.
[2] After this post, you didn’t think we would make it through royal-baby-mania without some acknowledgement, did you? And by that I mean that my future son is going to be a king. Or…something?
[3] As in, add 6 days to “19 weeks, 5 days.” Seriously though, can you? I can’t. That’s why I went to law school.

16 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh i can see a baby belly, for reals! Fingers crossed nothings wrong; if judging from my own previous searches for 'Am i dying?' and similar topics, everything should be fine :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. glad to hear I'm not the only one googling such dark queries :)

      Delete
  2. I can't see a baby belly! Jealous! To answer your question, while we haven't had the fun measuring of the belly moment yet (thank goodness, I already obsess enough over it as is) I will say that in all two of my ultrasounds my little peanut is measuring about 5 days behind. Apparently a week in either direction is the magic moment of doom and gloom, because nobody seemed worried about that either. So would you recommend maternity leggings? I haven't purchased much beyond summer stuff and like you, I probably start thinking about professional clothing. Thankfully a lawyer's level of professional is not quite the same as a teacher's. P.S. How is yoga coming along?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A big, emphatic YES to maternity leggings - I may literally never take them off. They're pretty phenomenal and can also be mildly flattering (or something). After I posted this I realized it's not all that professional... ha. Yoga continues to inspire - I've now been to two consecutive classes where an attendee asked the group for Tums before we began. Classic pregnancy.

      Here's hoping your little one catches up and that, more importantly, neither of us have anything to worry about!

      Delete
  3. I can't see a baby belly but I like your outfit!! I would go with what the first OB said, a week in either direction. I wish that other OB didn't stress you out!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks gypsy mama - I always appreciate your glass half full approach, especially when I'm talking myself off a cliff like this...
      And I guess I'll have to post a more, ahem, bump-revealing shot soon.

      Delete
  4. I can *almost* see the baby belly lol. But that dress does a good job of concealing it. Nice style sense.

    Gosh, I wouldn't have guessed that measuring ahead would be cause for concern in pregnancy. Is there any development in pregnancy that one need not worry about at all? I am hoping for continuing good news and less and less worries, anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm still perplexed by the whole "measuring your belly" thing. How can that be so accurate?! I wouldn't worry about measuring a little bit ahead (who am I kidding, yes I would). All babies arrive at different weights & lengths, so there has to be some variation.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Omg you are TINY! How on earth are you measuring that far ahead?? In any case, I will echo what others here are saying -- I would pay basically zero attention to a belly measurement and a lot more attention to the ultrasounds (which, you know, actually measure YOUR BABY). Also, for what it's worth, my OB just said that in his experience, thin women always make big babies, so that may be the case with you.

    P.S. Obsessed with your hardwood floors. (And great outfit).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Behemoth baby here we come! And thanks - those floors are one of the perks of a +100 year old (which almost makes up for the everything-else-that-doesn't-work. ha.)

      Delete
  7. Here's how I look at it (and I am not THAT kind of doctor, so what the hell do I know?) - there is a reason they consider +/- a week as normal. Even though babies do grow at a more standard rate than I would expect, they don't all grow exactly the same. I think about it in terms of child development in general (which I DO know a lot about). We know that kids hit milestones at variable rates within a normal window of time. They change in spurts and valleys. Every child is different in how the develop emotionally, physically, and cognitively. Why wouldn't it be the same in the womb?

    Oh, and about your picture...I love your work clothes and I will repeat what everyone else has already said - you are SO tiny!! I mean, part of it because I feel anything but tiny right now, but regardless, you are just tiny. I'm not seeing the bump yet, but if you're like I was, YOU can see it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love this rational, child psychologist mindset - I'm going with it! My kid's just on the accelerated track...

      And I totally need to post another picture, this one does not do justice to my burgeoning gut - which, I swear, is very much present! (I also happen to remember a bump picture you posted from Mexico where you were a totally svelte mama!)

      Delete
  8. Sarah. I love you. And I'm revoking all google privliges. Seriously. Stop the madness!

    Ps I know someone else who had to have her google rights revoked... She may have searched "adult children of divorce" and then got on the train to crazy town. Her name might rhyme with fainsley

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So what you're saying is... if my rights are revoked, I'll be in good company?

      Delete
  9. Ok, I just re-read this post. Now I don't have to do my own google search. Ha. I mean literally, I'm NOT going to google it. Really.

    ReplyDelete