Monday, December 10, 2012

MTV cribs: cycle day 12



Today[1] was a good day. Today I found out that I have three mature follicles, I’m ovulating on my own and I should proceed to can I say have sex here? Is the nurse listening? make a baby! Wow. This is like, really happening. So obviously, because I am still a million steps removed from having said imaginary, as-yet-still-not-conceived-or-birthed baby, I decided it was high time to start deciding on the kind of crib I fancy for my little (totally imaginary) tyke. And because I also TOTALLY have 1500 dollars to spare, the interwebs did not deny me my self-indulgent ogling. Oh no. The interwebs took my broken, battered, infertile-until-now hand and said here. Here you are, vulnerable-one-who-wants-to-look-at-pretty-things-she-does-not-need-and-cannot-afford. Here is a disturbingly vast selection of jaw-droppingly expensive, Dutch modern, fairly traded, sustainably harvested, bamboo cribs that turn into a toddler bed and then into a window seat and then, when your child turns eighteen, a space ship, a college fund an, okay fine I don’t really know where I’m going with this but it’s probably something really cool, thing.  So yeah. I totally want NEED one of those.

And now - because otherwise the title of this post would be false advertising - here is Aaron Carter (who is basically an infant because that's what you are when you have a stuffed Pumbaa on your "safari bed"), wearing an amazing Tupac t-shirt and showing off his “shag carpet” walls. Please. Hold the applause.


[1] And if you’re just tuning in, by today, I actually mean about a week ago. Breathlessly trying to catch up to real time. I feel like Marty McFly. 

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