Another cycle,
another “two week wait.” Another 14 (or so) days during which time I am
carefree, relaxed and happily enjoying other pursuits that don’t involve
scheduled sex wondering if every last twinge, itch, and strange dream is surely the earliest sign of pregnancy.
Helpful as
always, C has already taken to teasing me about my upcoming role as insufferable-patient-with-pseudocyesis[1].
Truthfully, it will be a dazzling role reprisal as my one loyal reader (hi
mom!) may remember my previous forays into I’m-so-tired-with-shades-of-nausea-that-i-must-be-pregnant-even-though-i-haven’t-ovulated-in-six-months
bat-shit crazy reasoning. What can I say – I’m a lawyer, I think logically.
Anyway, I’m
trying my best to maintain some semblance of sanity. It certainly helps that my
bitchiness has all but disappeared – shock: it was totally correlated to
Clomid-taking! – and the crippling ovary pain (it arrived!) has since faded.
If you’re
keeping score at home, here’s the low down on the next steps: In the next two
weeks, I’ll meet with the reproductive endocrinologist and put a plan[2]
in place should my subsequent pregnancy test reveal that I’m not of the
knocked-up variety. Then, a few days later, faint-fest
a blood draw confirms whether or not I won the golden ticket. Until then,
I’ll probably have to be physically restrained from taking seventy-bajillion
home pregnancy tests whose inscrutable test-reading-windows leave me certain that
I’m the rare pregnant lady for whom a home pregnancy test always provides a false negative.
For now, please
excuse me while I pick
out baby names pace the halls.
Forthcoming: the
second installment of the ever-popular recipe-post, things-I-cooked-while-trying. This time with slightly less chocolate <jumps back on treadmill>.
[1] What, you
don’t… live with a doctor yet obtain all of your substantive medical advice from webmd?
[2] Which will
go something like… take more birth control, then take more Clomid, maybe a round of OVIDREL as an aperitif. For full
effect, this plan will be implemented without even the slightest hint of irony.
