Redux: cycle 2, lost-count-of-the-days

Here we go again.

Another cycle, another “two week wait.” Another 14 (or so) days during which time I am carefree, relaxed and happily enjoying other pursuits that don’t involve scheduled sex wondering if every last twinge, itch, and strange dream is surely the earliest sign of pregnancy.

Helpful as always, C has already taken to teasing me about my upcoming role as insufferable-patient-with-pseudocyesis[1]. Truthfully, it will be a dazzling role reprisal as my one loyal reader (hi mom!) may remember my previous forays into I’m-so-tired-with-shades-of-nausea-that-i-must-be-pregnant-even-though-i-haven’t-ovulated-in-six-months bat-shit crazy reasoning. What can I say – I’m a lawyer, I think logically.

Anyway, I’m trying my best to maintain some semblance of sanity. It certainly helps that my bitchiness has all but disappeared – shock: it was totally correlated to Clomid-taking! – and the crippling ovary pain (it arrived!) has since faded.

If you’re keeping score at home, here’s the low down on the next steps: In the next two weeks, I’ll meet with the reproductive endocrinologist and put a plan[2] in place should my subsequent pregnancy test reveal that I’m not of the knocked-up variety. Then, a few days later, faint-fest a blood draw confirms whether or not I won the golden ticket. Until then, I’ll probably have to be physically restrained from taking seventy-bajillion home pregnancy tests whose inscrutable test-reading-windows leave me certain that I’m the rare pregnant lady for whom a home pregnancy test always provides a false negative.

For now, please excuse me while I pick out baby names pace the halls.

Forthcoming: the second installment of the ever-popular recipe-post, things-I-cooked-while-trying. This time with slightly less chocolate <jumps back on treadmill>.

---

[1] What, you don’t… live with a doctor yet obtain all of your substantive medical advice from webmd?

[2] Which will go something like… take more birth control, then take more Clomid, maybe a round of OVIDREL as an aperitif. For full effect, this plan will be implemented without even the slightest hint of irony.